Sunday, May 31, 2009

Freakshows.

Have got to be the saddest thing ever I swear. People with very terrible deformities sign themselves up to be laughed and pointed at just for the sake of money. Omg.

I have this weird fascination for sick and twisted things so like the freak that I am, I went and googled the word 'freakshows'. I didn't know what I was getting myself into seriously. I almost wish I didn't google that stupid word. I had nightmares five times in a row last night and didn't even dare to get out of bed to pee.

BUT STILL, I LIKE BEING MORBID.

So I will share with you some of the super famous stars of freakshows. Please do not be eating anything right this moment or I swear you will vomit everything out onto your PC screen. And if you have a weak heart, please do not scroll down. I do not want to be responsible for any deaths. I am too young to go to prison.

Also before calling me a stupid unsympathetic bitch and cursing me to have deformed kids myself, please be reminded that if you do not like what you see then click the exit button thank you.


















































This is the last warning.

















































You ignoring it?

















































Ok then. Here goes.















































BETTIE LOU WILLIAMS.

If you are blind and cannot tell what is that thing growing out of her stomach, it is a butt, two legs and an arm with three fingers. Omg. WHAT IS THAT.

Apparently, the thing on Bettie's stomach is her parasitic twin.

I know. Do not say anything.

But I think everyone should be a little jealous of her. Know why?! She makes $250 a week when she was two! When we were two we were still parasites and earning not even a small blob of shit ok. Anyway she died early cos of a broken heart. Her boyfriend used her for money only. Kinda depressing lor. Already got that gross butt on her stomach her boyfriend still wanna cheat her? Also I wonder how she and the boyfriend sex lor. The boyfriend not freaked out by the extra butt, legs and arm in his face meh? If me I die far far away first can.



Satisfied? If not, lets continue.





EW.

Cut me please.

I know it's very mean and evil of me but that is easily the scariest face I've ever seen. It even tops Uruha's face without makeup!

BILL DURKS - THE MAN WITH THREE EYES

The Man with 3 Eyes is his stage name cos the third eye is painted on wan. Bill suffers from frontonasal dysplasia. It is a birth defect that occurs when two halves of an embryo's face fail to come together completely. One eye is blind btw. He didn't join the freakshow till he's in his forties.

Ey don't say ok. This kind of face still can get find char bor can! He married the Alligator Woman of the freakshow. Lol ironic. I totally wonder how their spawn will look like. Talk about bad genes. Better not have baby lar. Scary man. Anyway he died in 1975.



Enough already? Still not enough ar? Like that I put up one more lor.





LUCY ELVIRA JONES

Omg I do not know what to say. She is like freaking double jointed in the knees and wrists and runs around like a dog. Nothing much about her on the site I went to. And I actually thought that Reita's double jointed fingers were extremely sexy. Sigh. I can never look at his fingers the same way again. Reita-san! Please do not be showing any stunts with your fingers anymore.



Ok last one.





BABY VENUS

This one not scary but I find it very fascinating lor. This girl had the body of a fully developed woman by the age of four! Omg she is only four years old! Shocked okay. Anyway she was only in the show business for a short time cos she died when she was 6 years old. Kinda sad lor. Does it mean she got period already ar?


That's it. Wanna see more, go to this site. Just don't start screaming and cursing me though. I warned you already.

And also do not flame me for being a heartless person or whatever cos I did not force you to read this post. In fact I warned you of its contents many times already earlier on. Thank you.







That was my dinner yesterday. I am so healthy. I eat my greens like the good girl that I am. Yay! I deserve some treats. The whole dish was just greens and mushrooms. Only greens! I spent 20 minutes suffering through it. Sigh. The things I do to lose 1 kg.

Also this morning I watched
X-Men Origins : Wolverine. It is like the awesomest thing in this entire world.



Agent Zero above there is so cool! He is so mean though. He is so evil that when he died he still had the nerve to laugh. If me I kisiaw already. He also kill innoncent old people! Bad Zero bad! And Wolverine is like freaking handsome lor. Although his body is kinda gross. Too big and muscular for my taste. The young Scott is so cute!

Anyway buy the DVD and watch! Damn nice movie.



Hona.

Friday, May 29, 2009

3 Days Late.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MASATO
Although yours was four days ago.



Cheers to the lead guitarist of n00bie band SuG! Cheers to the guy who refuses to do any solos because he doesn’t want to hurt his little finger!

Dear Masato.

Smile pretty like you always do, don’t be smoking like Chiyu and have yourself a long happy journey with SuG. You make everyone happy!






THREE DAYS LATE FOR REI’S B’DAY THANKS TO SHITTY CONNECTION. GOMEN. I FAIL AT BEING HIS FANGIRL & I NEED TO BE CUT DEEP DEEP *BEATS MODEM WITH SPIKED CLUB*

Anyway.

Things Reita are good at :
  1. Playing the bass guitar
  2. Headbanging
  3. Concealing his nose for 7 whole damn years
  4. Making those smexy barking sounds
  5. Looking tall even when he isn’t anywhere near 175 cm
  6. Being so super skinny and sinewy and sexy
  7. Doing the same poses in shoots
  8. Making people laugh at his ridiculous laugh
  9. Making me swoon
  10. Making Ruki swoon

Things Reita fail at :
  1. Fanservice
  2. Mansechs
  3. Reading ghost stories
  4. Saying tongue twisters
  5. Speaking without stuttering
  6. Speaking English
  7. Eating his greens
  8. Not smoking 100 packs a day
  9. Varying his poses during shoots
  10. Being normal

HAPPY 28TH BIRTHDAY MR. AWESOME



First off I would totally like to thank Reita’s mama for giving birth to the most awesome bassist ever. However, I would also like to cut her like a bitch for giving birth to that particular awesome bassist 11 fcking years before I even existed in this world. Damn her.

I was also trying my best to convert a friend of mine to a die hard Gazette fan. I showed him all of Reita’s pictures and he said he was good-looking (OMYGAH FINALLY SOMEBODY DID NOT INSULT THE NOSEBAND AT FIRST SIGHT) and that he looked like Ichigo from Bleach. However, like the idiot that I am, I got carried away by his sudden gay side and showed him the vid of Screw’s PSC Live. Now he is totally obsessed with Byou’s perverted boob grab and forgot all about Reita. He was also permanently traumatised at the sight of Uru's super short shorts and man thighs in the Silly God Disco live and barfed all over me. Sigh. And I thought those purple manshorts would turn any straight man gay. Guess I was wrong.



Princess Uruha's disgusting purple feather shit manshorts

Dear Reita.

Hope you get wasted. I hope you get so wasted that you don’t know that you’re sleeping naked in Ruki’s bed. I hope you smoked 726363536435 cigs cause I know that smoking makes you happy. I hope you get KitKat cake. I hope that you grow a few more centimeters so I don’t cringe when other people ask me how tall you are. I hope that you gain more weight so you won’t make me seem like an obese cow. You only weigh 55 kg forGodssakes. EAT SOME CARBS. I also hope you grow a huger dick so you can make Ruki happy.

I hope that all my dreams come true.



Reita.

I also need to thank you for discarding Reiki, your shitty old self, into the dumpster.


He hitch-hiked his way out of somebody's nightmare.

WAT. TEH. SHYT.

Thank God that you managed to re-grow a brain.



Hona.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Hurrr.

I LOVE YOU STUPIDS

Best. Line. Evar.



After this evening's pouring idiotic thunder rain, I went to eat sushi with completely wet hair and drenched clothes. Also did I forget to mention that my slippers which I wore only for the second time were completely ruined thanks to the fucking rain?



What the shit.
Somebody chomped on their shoulders with tiny sharp teeth. Somebody named Rain Water.

Now I totally get why the brand name is Bananapeel. Awesome right? I totally recommend this brand to anyone and everyone who is looking for chio affordable slippers. Get Bananapeel and let them be ruined in the rain everyone!

Also I am in a bad mood because I ate instant noodles after a workout. Eew. 12 g of fat is just what I need to make me the happiest girl in the world.


Hona.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Shitty.

The nightmare of the short posts begin.



Went to Spring last night with teh friends and spent a shitload of money on FOOD. Omyfckinshit. I swear I am going to be the fattest person in this universe. I kept complaining and Jas just HAD to interrupt me by saying that she hated going out with people who kept counting how much calories they consumed in whatever they eat.

I am so sad. My own friend doesn't like going out with me.

I am also in love with the butter scotch ice cream!



If you are a fan of teh Slurpee I will kick your ass to the seventh circle of hell.



TEH SLURPEE IS A LIE.

A big fat lie.

That day I went to Seven Eleven to buy the Slurpee as I was in dire need for liquid. First off I couldn't locate the Slurpee machine. HOW CAN I WHEN IT WAS LOCATED IN THE SADDEST CORNER OF THE PLACE. Secondly the place only had THE BIGGEST CUP AVAILABLE WHICH COSTED ME LIKE 2 BUCKS INSTEAD OF THE NORMAL 1.50. Dammit. I was so angry that I didn't even care if the Slurpee machine blew up in my face. After I filled the shit cup and drank it, I grew even angrier.

Know why?

BECAUSE IT TASTED EXACTLY LIKE COLA + A CRAPLOAD OF MANGO FLAVOURED ICE ON TOP

So basically I just wasted 2 bucks on a shitty cup of Cola.

Screw you deep deep Seven Eleven.





Random pic of my chio reflective lappie cover! Too bad I never clean it.



Also I am sooo sorry for being sooo weird but twincest totally rocks my grill.



HO EM GEE.

For my birthday I want two hot naked male twins in a cage. Then I can torture them and make them do things with each other for my viewing pleasure.



And wouldn't it be like the best thing ever if this guy had a twin?! O my gah. I will kill them if they don't marry each other.



Hona.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Grandpa's B'day.

HAPPY 83rd B'DAY GRANDPA!
Technically it isn't his birthday yet but we celebrated yesterday, so :D


Teh awesomest Grandpa & Grandma ever.

We went to eat at



In Hilton Hotel chia-ed by my super cool uncle. And I couldn't tear myself away from the food long enough to take pictures.

So you only get this.


Something something seabass.

SEABASS. BASS. GEDDIT?! HAHA. REITA PLAYING SEABASS = LOVE.


Yummy cake and my gross fork.

Cheesecake

or

CHEEZERCAKIEEE AHAHHA OH CHEEZERCAKIE *followed by maniacal laughter, scary face and wild hand gestures*

The cheesecake damn nice! Hilton's one. I ate two slices btw! Cos my grandma didn't want it. She said not nice. So she gave me! Ahahaha. Damn fattening though. My grandpa freaking celebrity that night lar hor. People even called and said Happy B'day! Lol. So cute lar.

Also my cousin Nat shocked me into almost vomitting my dinner out when he stated that Uruha was hotter than Reita. Oh dear God. What is this. I think he was drunk when he said it though so it doesn't count.

&

HAPPY 24th B'DAY PON!
Although it isn't the 4th of May yet. Oh well.


I had to crop Nao off so the picture is not wide.

Lol such a Ruki fanboy. But since he had that hairstyle earlier than Ruki then wouldn't that make Ruki his fanboy instead?! Whatevs. Pon still seems like uke to Ruki so he gets to be the fanboy.

I swear I love Pon so much more than Uruha. Because Pon is small, short, skinny, cuter, sexier and better looking than Uruha without makeup.

And also he is still so damn young! Unlike Uru who is practically an old man already. Eew. Different with Pon tho. I hate to traumatize you but.



If you're too blind to see it then let me list out the differences for you.

1. One looks like a small boy while the other looks like an old man who's about to kick the bucket.
2. One of them has super huge eyes while the other has non-existant microscopic ones.
3. One has a small face while the other has a big and super square one.
4. One looks like himself without makeup and the other one completely doesn't.
5. One gets 100% from me and the other gets -87275364365431423%.
6. One makes me smile and the other makes me headdesk.
7. One has nice hair and the other one is just... eew. At least wash it my dear Ruha.
8. One is cute and the other one is just plain fugly.

Ok? Ok. So this concludes why I love Pon more than Uruha.

&

I ate this place last week which served the mee in such a weird bowl thingey.


Kong hu mee in this embarrasing to eat from ceramic thingey.

It was huger than Miyavi's dick.